When someone is experiencing some kind of inner pain or drama, they can take a closer look at what is happening and start looking for solutions, or they can focus on what is happening around them. By putting your attention on something or someone else, you can allow them to avoid their own life.

However, even though you are going to be neglecting your own life, the people around you may not realize what is happening. This is partly because they could end up being viewed as “disinterested.”

Model behavior

So your behavior can be seen as an example of how someone should be, and this can allow you to receive positive feedback. By receiving these types of comments, they may end up believing that they are doing the right thing.

Therefore, even if you are avoiding your own life, it is not something you need to worry about. It can be something they can be proud of, and if they start to experience problems, they can think about what they have been doing for others.

Enable

On the surface, it might appear that one is having a positive effect on others; however, if you looked at it more closely, you might find that that is not the whole story. There is a possibility that they will prevent people from doing what they are supposed to do.

As a result of this, one will be disempowering others, and then they will prevent them from moving forward in their life. So it can be normal for other people to become dependent on them.

Self Image

Depending on how other people see themselves, they may believe that they cannot handle life without your help. If they have this perspective, they won’t want one to change.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that it looks more like a parent-child relationship. Other people may have felt powerless for most of their lives, and because of what is going on within them, they will be attracted to people who seem strong.

Empowered individuals

If one were to meet someone who was going through a challenging time in their life, for example, the other person might appreciate their support at first. However, as time goes on, they are likely to realize that one’s behavior will keep them stuck.

Then, it will be necessary to change their behavior if they want to keep in touch with them. Unless one steps back, focuses on their own needs, and no longer sees the other as someone who needs to be ‘rescued’, it may only be a matter of time before the other person leaves.

Disconnected

If one has been focused on others for most of their life, it could mean that they are out of touch with what is going on within them. They can know everything about the needs of the people around them, and their needs can be a mystery,

However, just because they are out of touch with what is happening within them; it does not mean that it will have no effect on your life. Everything that they are not willing to recognize may end up projecting itself onto others.

The saviors

When one is disconnected from what is inside of them, it can be normal for them to be out of touch with their shame. As a result of this, they can appear shameless, and this means that one can end up believing that they are more than others.

So they are the ones with the ability to save others, and they may not be able to see why they are attracted to certain people. The reason they are attracted to these types of people is probably because it reminds them of what they have disconnected from.

Example

If you believe that you are above others, it is likely a sign that you feel below others. The image they present is nothing more than an illusion, and as long as they avoid what is happening at a deeper level, they will remain attracted to people who act as if they are below others.

So you’re going to be out of touch with how they feel, and the people you spend your time with can be in touch with how they feel. The feelings they express may be a reflection of the feelings one has disconnected from.

Up and down

The false self that you have created to avoid how you feel will allow you to feel good about yourself. If they put aside their false self and accepted their true feelings and needs, they could experience extreme pain.

Therefore, unless you have some kind of crisis or an experience that makes you revalue your life, it is possible that it will remain the same. When this happens, the pain they experience in facing themselves will not be as strong as the pain they would experience if they stayed the same.

Privacy

As long as one is out of touch with their true self, it will be a challenge for them to experience intimacy. They are going to play a role and it will not be possible for them to feel connected to others by playing a role.

If they got in touch with your true needs, they might start to feel uncomfortable, and this is because they might feel ashamed of your needs. Rescuing others can also be an indirect way of meeting your needs.

Awareness

But while being there for others may be a way to meet your own needs, it is unlikely to work. You can end up feeling disappointed and as if the other person is not giving you what you deserve.

If you want to rescue yourself instead of trying to rescue others, it will be important that you stay away from what you have been doing. The pain that is within them will have to be processed, and this is something you can take over with the help of a therapist and / or a support group.