What a trip, an incredible adventure to find myself living and driving in Baja California. It is almost as if powerful winds of change have picked me up and carried me here. In my experience over the last 12 years, I have seen more and more single women take a big step across the border into Baja California. They are unique and brave women. They don’t listen to the negative media or well-meaning friends in America, but have come to take a look for themselves, and what we have all found is a new sense of freedom.

How strange that this freedom was not found in what we left behind, a country that claims to be the freest country in the world. The women who chose to live here may not have been able to express what it was they were looking for. I certainly couldn’t have put it into words when I first fell in love with the “Finisterre” of southern Baja California, the end of the world. The Baja sun burned a place in my heart in the early ’90s, and it burned me there, taking me to the peninsula in 1999. It still burns. Somehow, many of us have found our way, redefined what freedom is, and are now living lives we could only dream of before crossing The Border.

Not all the women came alone. They came with their husbands and bought a house, but death or divorce caused a big life change. Most of these now single women have chosen to stay, embracing the life they are re-creating, which would not be possible in the United States during these economic times. We are also uncomfortable with the conservative political leadership and religious far right who have little regard for women’s rights. This story is not intended to be a political statement, rather it is a statement of spiritual change; a spirit longing to know itself. Many of us would call it a “spiritual adventure story,” and it is truly an adventure in finding oneself and flourishing in the four ways necessary to feel whole and complete: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

As children we believed the story of Cinderella. We spent a lot of time trying to find someone to “complete” us. However, due to personal circumstances, some of us had to face a harsh reality and found ourselves single. Now a spiritual truth is being discovered; we were actually looking in the wrong direction. Our journey has taken us inward, if we are lucky, to discover or “self-realize” who we are. I can’t speak for all the single women who live here, in this country of abundant pristine land and quiet secluded beaches, but for most I’ve spoken to, the choice to live single claimed them, not the other way around. The responsibility for our happiness belongs to us. Most of us appreciate men, we have always loved men, but we have never had the opportunity to learn to love ourselves completely. So this is a story about completion, women finding the missing piece within themselves. Single women with years of life experiences in Baja are the authorities. Talk to one of us before you believe what she reads or sees in the media about the negative image of Baja.

Of course, the first thing they ask us is “aren’t you afraid?” Our answer is always the same, “NO”. The reason is that we are responsible for ourselves. We know that walking the streets alone at night in any country is dangerous for women, or for that matter, for anyone. You may ask us why we’re here, and the answers will be as unique as the women themselves, but it usually includes at least one or more of these: the freedom to be real, the freedom to create, the freedom of the land and the open sea. , and a slower, gentler way of life.

Most of us have reinvented ourselves. We have learned the benefits of living simply. We find that it liberates us, not needing as much. We will never say it was easy, we paid our fair share and were tough in the face of some horrendous obstacles, but we learned what we are made of and we can never be shaken from that truth. Our determination is to honor what we know. We pursue what we love: we travel, we tango, we make wine, we paint, we sculpt, we write, we teach yoga, we camp, we walk on the beach and we experience time as something that has nothing to do with the clock. Sometimes we are alone or confused, a little crazy, we pray, we cry, we bury our friends, we search for a deeper meaning. Mostly we honor our journey and are true to ourselves. We live a full and rich single life in Baja California.