One of the best ways to influence is the use of reverse psychology. Play with the darkest part of our psyche that doesn’t want anyone else to get what they want. Basically, if you really want something, you can just say whatever you want. They will most likely say “no” because they are being defiant. Once you make your true wishes known, it is probably too late to learn the best aspects of reverse psychology.

Who does reverse psychology work on?You can usually spot the people that reverse psychology will work on because they are: angry, defiant, childish, or bored. This encompasses most children and almost all adults at some point or another when their day goes pathetically.

How does reverse psychology work?If you have a defiant person on your hands, in essence, simply ask for the opposite of what you want. Your mother was probably very good at saying something like “I hate when your room is clean.” If you were in a tyrannical mood, you’d clean up just to screw her up.

Using reverse psychology in adults

• Exclusivity: people want what they cannot have. Why do you think airlines have a curtain between first class and coach? You might think the possibility of preferential treatment for all first-class passengers is a perfect reason to upgrade, but the things you don’t see … that makes it so desirable.

• You can’t have it: telling someone they can’t have something only serves to expand their greed. There is something provocative about the phrase: “Let’s be friends.” Women like to use this term. You can flirt together all you want, but the moment you act on these conflicting signals, you’ll be stuck in the “Friends” drawer forever. So what’s stopping you from using this reverse psychology before her? It will make someone go crazy when they use their methods on them again.

• Rarity: Advertising companies use this type of reverse psychology all the time: “Limited time offer! Only 3 at this price!” If there isn’t much left, you better get one now! How can you use this? By not being so available. Never let your boss or lover know how truly efficient you are! Sometimes, don’t answer your phone or respond to text messages right away. Someone who is not available all the time is desirable.

• Presumptions: when you say something that is the furthest thing from your target’s mind, you keep planting that seed. It confuses them and now they can’t get it out of their heads. For example, what if during a conversation with the object of your affection, you blurted out: “I would never spill hot chocolate on you!” You can guarantee that there was no way they were thinking about this, but now you can be sure that they are not thinking about anything else …

• You are not interested: once you say you really want something, you simply lose all your bargaining power. Better to do your best on the inside and then find fault with what you want so that the seller is forced to negotiate with you. Obviously the salesperson knows you’re interested, but the more you have to get him to “sell” you, the more it erodes his resolve.

• Use jealousy: Clearly, you’ve seen it when someone shows a prettier person in front of their ex. It’s pretty cheeky, but it definitely works!