If you have ever lost a loved one, you know how painful it is to deal with their death and loss.

“I want to communicate with my deceased / friend / partner / father” is a common request for information on my website.

First of all, if this is your inquiry at this time, I am very sorry for your loss and feel and understand your pain. I would like to try to explain why, in my experience and from my spiritual point of view, your deceased loved ones may not be in touch for a while, and also try to bring you some comfort.

I tend to find that deceased loved ones don’t show up or communicate at all shortly after they pass away.

Some say that it takes a lot of your energy to get through, even to an experienced medium; I’m not sure I agree with this, as on a rare occasion I have felt a recently deceased spirit approach me within hours.

The difference here is that I could handle his presence emotionally. The people closest to them would not have been able to handle it emotionally either or perhaps they would have actually been able to sense their presence due to the confusion they were in.

Some say they don’t get over it as quickly because they have ‘business’ or a ‘life review’ to do first. This doesn’t make much sense to me, but it completely depends on your own belief system. You may have a different philosophy than me and can relate to this and can understand that they need some time on the other side before revisiting.

Personally, I think the reason the spirits of recently deceased loved ones stay away, or at least aren’t apparent in the first few months after their passing, is not about them. It’s about us.

It is for us, for our own well-being and for our mental and emotional health.

I know it’s hard to hear because we want them back SO MUCH it hurts, and you think you’re really ready to see or hear them. But I think the spirit tends to stay away to help with our grief. It reinforces their absence to allow us to process that they will no longer be there. That is why they often do not come to mediums with the message that they are still present, it will simply annoy us.

Think about it, have you ever tried to get over a breakup by having to see your ex on a regular basis? In the early days it’s very difficult, so it’s often easier to hate yourself again than to continue to acknowledge your positive feelings towards them.

So maybe this will help instead. If they can’t be with you, maybe I can tell you what you really want to hear.

The three most common questions I hear from those left behind about their loved ones in spirit are:

‘Are you okay?’, ‘Do you know that I loved/forgive you?’ and ‘Will you forgive me?’

I firmly believe, and have discovered through many years of spiritual communication, that once someone has passed away, they know for sure how much you loved them and continue to love them.

My belief is that they become part of a great energy that I believe is unconditional love and they are no longer concerned with human emotions. They see the big picture. They see the interconnectedness of life and death, of everything. And they can’t help but still love you, forgive you, and certainly don’t judge you.

I have to tell you that I have never met a spirit that has come to cling to the human conditions to which we are accustomed. In passing, they become much more aware and enlightened, ridding themselves of the emotional trappings that come with being human, and forgiving and letting go of anything that may have troubled them while they were alive.

Some other points that can help with the grieving process.

When their memories of their deceased loved one start to fade, I really don’t think they feel hurt by it. It is natural that you can continue to live a life without them in their physical form. They know this and they want you to continue living your life to the fullest.

I also ABSOLUTELY 100% believe that they will feel loved and no pain, pain or suffering at all.

I really hope this helps you through difficult times, or with dilemmas and grievances you may be facing.

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