All the two of you have been doing lately is fighting. Now your wife has told you that she hates you and wants to leave, or you think she does. Either way, you are in a bad situation. No matter what you are thinking, your marriage does not have to end in divorce.
Never, never threaten her to stay with you. While I have met men who did this (and, of course, lost everything in the process), it only leads to losing her permanently.
Don’t try to figure out what’s going on in his mind. You can not do it. However, you CAN control your own actions towards her. What will that do? It is very possible that it will turn things around for both of you and give you a happy marriage again.
If your wife absolutely and positively wants to leave, let her. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means that you understand that she needs some time to think about things and that she needs to be out of the house to do it. You cannot overcome anger and “hatred” if you constantly confront them.
Remember that if you beg him not to leave, or try everything you can think of to make him stay with you, it won’t work. She may give in, but it will only last for a very short time. And who wants to live with someone who hates them?
She may not hate you at all. She may have other issues that she is having trouble dealing with, but she doesn’t know how to deal with them. She may be taking it out on you, because you’re her husband, you’re supposed to be there no matter what, right?
You also can’t afford to live this way. It is killing your emotions. You can be on guard all the time, thinking that if you do the right thing, she won’t go away. Don’t do that to yourself. No matter what you do or say, she will do whatever she wants. It’s called free will.
When the two of you allow yourself time apart, most of the time you will get back together again. Emotions just can’t heal if you can’t get out of the situation, not even for a while.
This is why so many couples attempt a trial separation before considering divorce. Most of these couples discover when they are apart that they really love each other and cannot live without each other.
Even if one spouse tells the other that he hates him, he actually doesn’t. They may hate the stress that your home may be in, or they may hate different things in your life right now, but the only one they can get rid of is you.