Have you been trying to find someone you can be vulnerable with? A girlfriend or best friend who is open to hearing what is really going on in your life and the emotions you are experiencing? Many of us struggle to find a great friend, someone who won’t judge or criticize us for what we’re thinking, feeling, or doing. After all, you can’t exactly take out a personal ad or go on Match.com for a best friend!
We all need someone who is emotionally and physically available with whom we can share. And while men may also crave these deeper connections, women are often the ones to express this need. Many of us are looking for a girlfriend (even if she is married or in a committed relationship) who is open to spending time together, and not just as a couple. Someone who will not abandon us when entering a new relationship, who deeply values the girlfriend relationship, someone we can trust and be ourselves.
As we get older, it can seem harder to find this kind of connection with someone we’re not yet in a relationship with. We might remember how easily we found our friends in high school, college, or graduate school, and now we lament that lack of close relationships. In school, we were surrounded by a large number of people to choose our friends from, however once we enter the workforce, or choose to work from home, or work at home, our options become more limited.
If we have children, then we may have the opportunity to connect with potential friends at sports, school activities, etc. However, it can be difficult to connect on a deeper level. It can also be difficult to get into an already established group, or we find that people are not always open to inviting new people into their group. Or the people we meet may already have an established group of friends and aren’t really looking for those deeper connections. Or it might be too scary to expose ourselves.
But if we can find ways to connect with others, then the rewards are great.
Nurture the connections you already have. We often think we need to go out and find new friends, but what about the connections you already have? Which woman would you like to be closer to? Maybe ask them out for coffee or lunch.
Be open as you go about your day. You never know when an opportunity for a connection or a friendship might present itself. And as a corollary, don’t write someone off based on your preconceptions about them. People can surprise you; you never know what life experiences they have had, no matter what their outward appearance says.